I’ve taken to daily mediation walks. It’s nourishing to my spirit and helps ground me to my purpose. I walk for 30 minutes then journal until I feel complete. Here is today’s reflection:
A cat visits, twining itself around my legs for a while. I pet it and also just let it be , allowing it to enjoy the feeling of its fur on my bare legs (I enjoyed that too).
A little girl in a black, velvet dress rocks gently in a swing. The kind of swing with a back. She smiles. I tell her she looks peaceful. She nods.
Three older girls are playing on the hill above her. In the dirt. The kick it up then oddly dust themselves off. Then get dirty again. I want to tell them it’s okay to be dirty. To get dirty and messy and stay that way.
A hummingbird flies straight up into the blue sky. Like an elevator. I am in awe not only of their abilities but their ability to fill my heart with joy every time I see them.
This moment is saturated in peace and yet I want to leave. This is always true for me. I have such a restless soul. When something is peaceful and beautiful, I appreciate it but then want to explore something new. I’ve come to accept this about myself.
I move a small snail off the pavement. It’s dry and would take a long time for it to reach the grass. It’s a small act of kindness. It will die anyway. Maybe today. Maybe by a small child climbing the enormous cedar tree I placed it under.
But we do what we can, we tend to what is in our reach. Reminds me of this quote by one of my favorite teachers:
“Ours is not the task of fixing the entire world at once, but of stretching out to mend the part of the world that is within our reach.” ~Clarissa Pinkola Estes
The other day in yoga I was in “Happy Baby” pose and suddenly I felt very small. And vulnerable.
I found myself saying, “It’s okay, sweetie. I’m sorry that you were hurt. I’m sorry that you were lied to. I’m sorry that has made it hard for you to trust people.”
I started crying as I thought of all the people that I have loved. All the people that I haven’t treated as kindly as I wished. And all the people who haven’t treated me as kindly as I wished.
I just let myself really feel that sadness. Then I whispered,
“It’s okay. I forgive you.”
Then my body just relaxed and I felt something shift inside me. Like a lotus flower opening. I opened to that feeling of deep compassion for myself and others and awakened to the realization that we are doing our best at any given time. It’s often only through a reflective practice that I realize that I could have done better. And how I could have done better. Even with that kind of practice, I still mess up, because I’m a messy human.
The randomly-chosen word of the day is world from Stand Still Like the Hummingbird by Henry Miller. I’m going to offer the entire paragraph that it came from because it’s so fantastic. It will serve nicely as today’s quote:
Frankly, if we must play with this idea of saving the world, then I say that in making an aquarelle which pleases me–me, not you necessarily–I am doing my share better than any cabinet minister with or without portfolio. I believe that even His Holiness, the Pope, little as I believe in him, may be doing his part too. But then, if I include him I must also include such as Al Capone and Elvis Presley. Why not? Can you prove the contrary? (p. 83)
I cannot prove the contrary. In fact, I think it’s true that we’re all doing our best, all learning from one another, all have our part to play in each other’s unfolding. The world certainly doesn’t need saving but we do. We need more love and appreciation and less condemnation. More patience and tenderness. More play and delight.