Tonight’s entry is very late in coming. I’ve been talking with him for hours. And he’s been listening. A different kind of listening than I’m used to. He wanted to understand. What a remarkable experience.
I’m not surprised then, that tonight’s randomly-chosen word, from the Delta of Venus by Anais Nin is gentle. My heart being touched so gently and with such wisdom is new for me. It felt like this.
Today was a “no rule” day. I worked on the piece all day off and on. I have many things that bubbled up but as I was working but I’m not ready to write about them yet so I’ll just share a quote from Carl Jung.
In all chaos there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.
This morning, I led my second writing workshop at a local homeless shelter. Before I arrived, I chose the following prompt:
In the silence I understand…
We do 20 minutes of free writing and then share. I found it interesting that one of the women I was working with could hear but didn’t speak. I found myself communicating with someone who was silent. She carried a great deal of peace and her writing reflected that.
My own free writing was rambling, as always:
In the silence I understand that I can access serenity when I choose it but it’s okay to just be in the place of wild cacophony. I understand that the howling wind holds a silence I cannot always understand but must feel.
In the silence I understand that my heart is weary but also strong with the tensile strength of steel but the softness of a baby’s cheek. I understand that the world contains vile behavior from people we are supposed to trust but also the opportunity for forgiveness.
In the silence I understand that we are here to love and that love is often simpler in the silence. The quiet heart lets me understand and know what is needed.
In the silence I understand that I am those restful, quiet spaces as well as the loud, sonic booms. Every day brings the choice to explore which voice to use. I understand that there is mystery but also answers. In the silence I understand to wait long enough to hear.
I later went back through and found words and phrases to pull out for poems or stories. I also found little messages that my heart left for me. This was the primary one.
Tonight, a friend of my posted this on Facebook and I realized how much synchronicity is happening in my life.
“Silence is a great source of strength.” ~Lao Tzu
her fingers so soft on tight flesh
the deepest innerworkings
his complexities and contradictions
had her wanting more
the deep empty beckoned
erotically entangled in the black,
hollow void stripped bare
of personal desire
mesmerized and aching
the stillness pulling
dripping off the edges
union became a searing brand
a cleansing, fiery phoenix
One of three poems written in response to art for the Poet’s Favorite Tour at the 2014 Seattle Erotic Art Festival
but always careening towards
skin throbbing from the sting
(and not wanting to forget)
the pulsating rhythm of blood
rushing to the point of entry
bathed in sunlight,
the clenching stops
while quiescent clouds gather
rich, mellifluous enchantment
moments and memories stitched together
(everything in his house has a story)
trust comes in timid sips
life brings little moments
of everyday astonishment
like smelling the sea air
infused in morning moisture
or feeling the tenderness
of a heart miles away
memories of tireswinging summers
with loud thunderCLAPS
mud pies and the love of mother
of dust on my tongue
watching my dad shoot a rattlesnake
seeing, feeling, tasting
the mystery of creation
with some kind of
Divine Pollock paintbrush