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changing the room of my mind

There’s so much I want to say.  So much I could say about friendship, and belonging, and how care (or the absence of it) feels deep in the center of my being.  About feeling dehumanized so often.  Objectified.  Plunked into the fantasies and projections of men who said they loved me but didn’t show me care.

I could talk about how my ache for belonging has led me to saying yes when I knew it should be a “no”.  About how finding the courage to finally say “no” meant being cast out.  Shut out.  (Or worse.)

About how that makes me not trust anyone, especially myself.

I will write about those things and more. I  know there are others who need to these stories but today, just for today, I’ll linger on the sweet sustenance of this poem by Hafiz and just let my heart rest deep inside my animal body.

“All the Hemispheres
Leave the familiar for a while.
Let your senses and bodies stretch out

Like a welcomed season
Onto the meadow and shores and hills.

Open up to the Roof.
Make a new watermark on your excitement
And love.

Like a blooming night flower,
Bestow your vital fragrance of happiness
And giving
Upon our intimate assembly.

Change rooms in your mind for a day.

All the hemispheres in existence
Lie beside an equator
In your heart.

Greet Yourself
In your thousand other forms
As you mount the hidden tide and travel
Back home.

All the hemispheres in heaven
Are sitting around a fire
Chatting

While stitching themselves together
Into the Great Circle inside of
You.”

~Hafiz

Update:  After I wrote this, I went to yoga with one of my favorite teachers, Ashley.  At the end of class, she put my head in her hands and gently said, “I’ve got you girl.”  Quiet tears rolled down my cheeks.

Trust is earned but we have to remember to open to it.  Opening…

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bricolage project day 22 [world]

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“has materiality and thus dimension”

The randomly-chosen word of the day is world from Stand Still Like the Hummingbird by Henry Miller.  I’m going to offer the entire paragraph that it came from because it’s so fantastic.  It will serve nicely as today’s quote:

Frankly, if we must play with this idea of saving the world, then I say that in making an aquarelle which pleases me–me, not you necessarily–I am doing my share better than any cabinet minister with or without portfolio.  I believe that even His Holiness, the Pope, little as I believe in him, may be doing his part too.  But then, if I include him I must also include such as Al Capone and Elvis Presley.  Why not?  Can you prove the contrary? (p. 83)

  • I cannot prove the contrary.  In fact, I think it’s true that we’re all doing our best, all learning from one another, all have our part to play in each other’s unfolding.  The world certainly doesn’t need saving but we do.  We need more love and appreciation and less condemnation.   More patience and tenderness.  More play and delight.

Continue reading bricolage project day 22 [world]

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bricolage project day 21 [others]

Today’s randomly-chosen word comes from the Tao Te Ching.  I picked up a copy at a used bookstore yesterday to use for blackout poetry and decided to use it for our word which is others (from book one XX).

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I don’t have much to say today.  I just wanted to paint with my blood again , create a bricolage by assembling the ephemera that has come me of late, and feel.  I’ll let Carl Jung speak instead.  Today’s quote is from The Red Book.  (He always has a lot to say about others.) Continue reading bricolage project day 21 [others]