intuition (or the little doll in my pocket jumping up and down)
I recently had a tense conversation with someone. I was asking about a change in the dynamics of our friendship and told her I felt that she was acting a certain way in our relationship for a reason that I didn’t understand but could feel.
She said, “Oh, so you know how I feel and I don’t ? You don’t get to always be right.”
I told her I didn’t think I was always right but in this case I believe I am. What is also true is that the gut feeling that drove the conversation in the first place is that kind of feeling that I am, in fact, NEVER wrong about.
In my lifetime, I have had countless examples of bringing something to the light with some questions that came from a deep knowing only to be met with denial and resistance by someone who didn’t want to face the truth.
I was later told I was right. Every, single time.
These days, I won’t be talked out of my intuition. Even in the face of anger or loss, I stand my ground. It’s the difference between feeling empowered or feeling manipulated. In trusting my vibes and that inner voice, I find my way in the dark just like Vasilisa in the fairy tale. Before she died, her mother gave her a little doll to put in her pocket. It would jump up and down to guide her. We all have access to this wisdom if we choose to heed it. Doing so is often the difference between being hurt or not, between being taken advantage of or not.
Sometimes, I wish I wasn’t right. It would be so much easier to just pretend but I just can’t. In the story, she is instructed by her mother to give the doll some food and water each night. We do this by noticing this important guidance system–by listening to our deepest needs and tending to them. (So this is what I do.)