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how i loved you [or the alchemy of heartbreak]

the alchemy of heartbreak

how i loved you

no one understood the torture–
the sweet musk of ache in my heart

no one knew you utterly macerated
my sweet butterfly in your gaping mouth
but I knew
(and I let you)
(and I let you)

a thousand flutters of longing–thrusting
in a moonlit garden of jasmine
while, for ten years, I lingered there
your treacherous touch, the enemy of love

between the lies and the passion,
your gaze was an empty vessel, draining
i tried to give you, with my heartsong,
the fullness of my flower

always you
back to your desert
then returning to my garden of delight
(and again)

how i loved you!
(do you know?)

your being, oh how i hungered!
the taste of your sweetness on my lips
turns bitter now
and empties out

dwell now, in your desert
i return to my garden
my butterfly is free
from your tormented heart

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