How to be a “Giver” without being taken for a ride:
- Make sure your cup is full so you’re giving from overflow.
- Find out what fills your cup if you don’t already know.
- Examine your own need to give like you do. Do you need to be needed? Why?
- Love yourself.
- Check in with yourself if someone is asking you for something. Do you really WANT to give or do you feel obligated?
- Only give what brings you joy. If you’re going to resent it later, DON’T DO IT!
- Don’t feel responsible for other people’s feelings. You’re only responsible for you own. Always.
- Allow yourself to receive. The natural flow of the universe is give and take. If you never allow anything to flow in, you are creating an energetic block.
- Make sure YOUR needs are met first and foremost. This isn’t selfish, it’s called self-nurturing.
- Remember that giving to people what they can get for themselves is enabling them to be dependent. Or, as my Mom says, “If you’re always wiping someone’s nose for them, they never learn to grab a tissue and wipe their own.” The best gift you can give someone is autonomy and independence.
- Rejoice in giving to yourself all the things that you often give to others. It’s hard at first. It feels self-indulgent. It’s not. It’s LOVE. You deserve love. Shower yourself with it. Swim in a sea of love of your own making.
Finally, if you’re scared that you’ll be alone if you stop giving all the time, let yourself feel that fear then RELEASE IT. The reality is that some of the people that were only taking from you might go away. But you know what? THAT’S OKAY! They will be replaced by people with whom you have mutuality. You will find people that have something to give to you. You deserve people like that in your life.