i just want to be sincere

i just want to be sincere

*sin·cere /sɪnˈsɪər/ –adjective, -cer·er, -cer·est.
1. free of deceit, hypocrisy, or falseness; earnest: a sincere apology.
2. genuine; real: a sincere effort to improve; a sincere friend.
3. pure; unmixed; unadulterated.

Today, I found myself using a “sweet” voice as I was trying to get a salesman to go away from my door. I really wanted to shut the door in his face. I don’t like his company and I told him that. Not wanting to be “rude” has always made me overly polite to people that are rude and annoying. Watching myself be “sweet” when I wanted to be FIRM was interesting. I was firm but I didn’t need to try to smooth it over with sweet.

I’m going to keep watching because what I most want in my life and my art is to be sincere. Not influenced by others, not needing to be nice or liked or WHATEVER. Just me.

100% sincere.

And so it is.

*from Dictionary.com

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