“I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship.”
-Louisa May Alcott
I have been reading “Human Becoming” (clicking the link will allow you to download his free e-book which I highly recommend) by Dave Richo recently. Several years ago my therapist gave me his “Checklist on Boundaries in Relationship” which helped me tremendously as I was pushing through a lot of childhood pain and learning a new way of being. It seems that there are always new layers to be stripped away in the process of transformation.
I am realizing how much not looking at My Own Truth, my fear and pain, my own resistance and my own issues instead of focusing on other people has hurt me and kept me from stepping into my Destiny. Albert Einstein said, “Knowledge of what is does not open the door directly to what should be.” I have known for a long time that I am a powerful creator and I’ve known somewhere deep inside why I am here. Childhood trauma and fear have been powerful inhibitors in keeping the door to what “should be” closed. Voices of people in my life telling me to “get over it” or telling me that I am making things bigger than they were (in fact NO I am not) because they are either too afraid to admit their part in what happened or afraid to look at their own pain have been LOUD in my psyche. Now that I have let my own inner Benevolent Parent speak louder and let in the voices of people who have healthy boundaries and understand how the healing process works I have been opening the door. I have allowed it. Finally.
It pretty much scares the fuck out of me on a daily basis, this business of taking responsibility for myself, for my pain, my choices and my own well-being. Letting the pain and fear into the light is unbelievably hard. Focusing on MY pain (and staying WITH IT) instead of figuring out how I could be the balm for everyone else has been a huge missing ingredient in my journey. It’s also allowing me to focus on my own future, my own desires and my own EVERYTHING. ME! It’s all about me!!! It’s so liberating to say that. It’s not selfish. It’s necessary.
The door to my Destiny is opening as I release the grip the icy fingers of Fate have had on my neck.
It feels very good.