no more somedays

I played the song “Apple Juice Kissing” by Deee-Lite this morning and thought, “Someday I want to cover that song. It’s so sexy and fun and juicy, I just love it. Someday, when I have some people to jam with…”

Then I thought how silly that is. Why do I need to wait? I can just get out my cell phone, and sing it a capella for my own enjoyment so I did. (Note: The camera is pointed at my covers because I’m writing this from bed.)

Is it perfect? No. Was it fun? Yes.

A friend of mine is a big fan of Michigan and told me I should cover their fight song. I listened to it a few times and, not having a marching band (or being terribly inclined to march or fight), I recorded my own version for him..

I could have waited for “someday” but they are in the championship RIGHT NOW. He’s my fabulous friend RIGHT NOW. I feel like I’ve said “someday” to myself way too many times in my life. Yes, there are lots of times I haven’t and guess what? Those are the best gifts of my life: My kids, going to college, falling in love, writing and staging my one-woman show–all of these things could have waited for “someday” but when and why?

I find myself sometimes hedging because of mistakes I’ve made in the past. I feel too scared to be vulnerable again in love because hearts have been broken or because I’m not perfect and I’m afraid someone will figure that out and leave so I live in that “someday” place.

(Please tell me I’m not alone here.)

Not alone apparently. Here’s what some of my heroes have to say about mistakes:

“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” ~George Bernard Shaw

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” ~Albert Einstein

I think we’re at a time when it’s better that we spend more time making love (in it’s myriad forms) and lots of mistakes and less time judging ourselves and others. As part of my celebration of life and love during National Poetry Month, I went to Weird and Awesome with Emmett Montgomery last night. One of the poets that got onstage said that she things of Weird and Awesome as “experimental and unfinished” (or something like that). I sort of think that’s what life is: Weird. Awesome. Experimental. Unfinished.

Things unravel and expand then contract and get tightened up but always, there is a process of unfolding and I just don’t think waiting for “someday” for that to happen makes a lot of sense.

So, here, RIGHT NOW, with this juicy song, I end my case of the “somedays”.

No more waiting for things to be “just right” because RIGHT NOW is what I’ve got.

Can I get an AMEN?