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temperance [a follow up to zaftig women awaken]

improvised chaos in a modern world

Yesterday, I wrote a short story for fun based on some words my friends gave me. In response, I received this email from an acquaintance:

There have been a very few Matriarchal societies and none that were much above Hunter/gather stage in development. This is not to say that Matriarchy stunts development at all but it is clear that developed societies have the input of both sexes. In the US 51% of the population is female and if they all bothered to vote then truly we would have a matriarchal society.

In fact some of the most brutal societies I know of are basically matriarchal, many of the villages of North Africa and Arab countries are complete ruled by the women and the men are out herding or killing each other, often driven by the wishes of the women in the tribe in retribution of the killing of a family member or child by another tribe. “When you’re wounded and left on Afghanistan’s plains, and the women come out to cut up what remains, jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains and go to your gawd like a soldier.” – Kipling.

In general it seems that men want to chase women, walk around and kill things to eat and fight if necessary to make either of the first two goals more likely. Women on the other hand want to talk in groups, raise children and do what it takes to get their men to kill more things to eat and fight if it makes it more likely that they will be able to eat, talk in groups and raise children.

I am afraid that no history supports in any way your vision of a peaceful and loving Utopia populated with and run by women and without the “Superfluous Knuckleheads who led with their heads and controlled with their hands”. The same Superfluous Knuckleheads who built the damns and reservoirs that let you have clean water to drink, dug the ditches and laid the pipe to carry your sewage from your gutter, cut the trees and hewed the timbers to build the shelter you enjoy.

Masturbatory extravaganzas into imagined worlds where everyone is and feels like you do and everything is perfect are to say the least juvenile and not just a slight bit vain. By all means rejoice in the beauty; spiritual, physical, emotional and intellectual, or women, but don’t do it by degrading and belittling men. It only serves to further divide and makes you look like the female version of a hick in a wife beater, professing that all women are bitches and whores and good only for cookin’, cleanin and children.

I must say that I found your piece insulting to say the least and almst as offensive as I find it when men I know go on about “Crazy Bitches and all women being Bitches and Whores and how much easier life woul;d be if we all just paid for sex and didn’t have to deal with the bitches. Both sides in this narrowminded and immature game make me physically ill.

This angry response honestly really surprised me. I hear underneath his words a lot of anger and pain. I understand how a lifetime of living in this culture can take its toll an anyone’s heart, male or female. I understand how both men and women hurt deeply from the power dynamics that oppression bring into our relationships. I also felt pretty misunderstood by this and wondered if others reading this had a similar response to what I wrote.

So, for the record, I am not a man hater. I am not an advocate of matriarchal societies. I believe in shared power, shared resources and loving, compassionate communication. This piece was just fun word play for me but it does represent the kind of society I want to live in. “Superfluous knuckleheads” doesn’t refer to men. It refers to anyone who lives for the sake of control and domination. I believe strongly that that way of being is becoming swiftly obsolete. How? Through people taking charge of their lives and focusing on the liberation of their own psyches. Through honesty and integrity. Through being willing to share and stand up for what they believe not try to dominate others with their ideas.

I find it fascinating that people have such a strong, negative response to an image of a utopian existence. Is it because they are worried they will have to give something up for that to happen? It mystifies me. I’m not personally looking to history for models of what can be. That doesn’t make sense to me. I am looking inside my heart and, to be honest, to communities I have been a part of and am currently engaged in. I see these things happening right now. Urban farms, men AND women caring for young, men AND women bringing home the food and providing shelter. I see interdependence and peaceful, non-violent communication. I see community, inclusive community. It’s not perfect but it beats anything that has existed up to this point and it’s about to get a whole lot better.

I am an advocate of alchemy. I am an advocate of temperance. I am an advocate of the peaceful and mindful integration of male and female energy within all beings. The global heart is indeed awakening. This is a powerful and fascinating time to be alive and I am so grateful to be alive and playing my part in the glorious unfolding of consciousness.

I am also incredibly grateful for every, single being on this planet. We are all learning, creating and destroying together. I express oodles of gratitude to people that I meet every day. Life is beautifully tragic and deserves both our tears and our praise. I give it both daily.

Namaste, lovelies.

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