“I am he that aches with amorous love;
Does the earth gravitate? does not all matter, aching, attract all matter?
So the body of me to all I meet or know.”
Dear Uncle Walt,
I am writing for your guidance. We seem to have the same Love DNA so thought perhaps you could help me. Our doors swing in both directions, we seem to find delight in everything and everyone and we both seem to want to just make love to every bit of it. So how did you manage it? I need to know.
Of late, I have encountered so many people or flowers or raindrops that I just want to merge with.
People whose skin I want to touch and eyes I want to drown in.
Some I want to take as lovers, others I just want to hold for a very long time and linger there (sometimes I do).
Flowers I get lost in! Lost! (Did you do this, uncle?)
I can travel around just loving everything I see every day but the world seems to want something different than this. There is some other currency that I don’t really understand. Nothing else matters to me so I just keep going and loving and trusting.
But uncle, this ache (it is an ache, isn’t it?), it is just so overwhelming sometimes. On the days when everything is just that much more beautiful and people pull me into the their gravity. On these days, when the eyes I meet are longing for it and I know I have it to give them, I am boundless and boundaryless and on these days I feel so close to you, uncle.
Today is such a day.
If you want to visit me in my dreams tonight, you are most welcome. Just any words about how to contain the uncontainable and how to manage the ache would be fantastic. I realize there probably isn’t an answer but I wanted to write anyway. Perhaps in the utterance of the question, the answer will find me.
Your most dutiful niece,