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finding versus saving our souls [or unweaving self-righteousness from the fabric of life]


I had a conversation last night with a friend about inner work and spirituality. We talked about how easy it is to get self-righteous and think we all have all the answers on the path of life. I related a story to her about a healing session I once had where the healer suggested I do a meditation where I envisioned my Higher Self talking to the Higher Self of my ex-husband in order to work out the conflict we were having from a higher, more spirit-led place.

I discovered what an ENORMOUS super ego I had in that moment when I realized that I hadn’t really thought about him having a Higher Self. I laughed so hard then and still do today when I think about it.

So where does this super ego come from? Well, I was raised in an evangelical christian church which is steeped in self-righteousness and judgment. In that religion, we are led to believe that we are the only ones who know The Way and that everyone who doesn’t believe as we do will burn in hell. What a set-up that is! I recall asking questions in Sunday school like, “If God is everywhere and everything, how can anything not be God?” or “If God is love, how can there be anything but love?” or “What about those people who have never heard of Jesus? Will they burn in hell?”

Nobody could really answers these questions because there is a fundamental flaw in that belief system that has nothing to do with Jesus, forgiveness or love and everything to do with power, authority and patriarchy. If you question anything, you’re told your doubt comes from “satan” and you must have faith. Huh? Faith in what? Ignorance? Intolerance? Hypocrisy?

I recall seeing people being unbelievably hypocritical at that church. They were all “sinners” in their eyes and they sure lived up that name! They thought Jesus would “save” them from themselves. That certainly takes responsibility and accountability out of the equation, doesn’t it?

I still see it today. I recently had an ex-lover contact me (even though he vowed to his wife he would not) who is a bona fide christian and likes to do the Jesus name dropping into his communication. He believes he knows The Way and yet is lying to his spouse and his family and most especially to himself. Don’t we see this kind of hypocrisy every, single day with one church leader after another “falling from grace” by having affairs or worse?

Churches want to convince us that our souls need to be “saved” and that they are the portal through which that can happen. They have the magic formula and all you have to do is hold a sign that says John 3:16, drink the Christian Kool-aid and you will be redeemed. Really? That sure does make it easy, right?


The problem is that people walk around feeling superior to others, thinking they have the answer to redemption and the fucking key to heaven and then go on lying to people, stealing from people, cheating on their spouses and generally hiding their shadow from themselves rather than embracing and integrating it. People want to deny they do “bad” things so they pretend they don’t then walk around filled with self-loathing because they can’t possibly live up to such ridiculous expectations. THEN they sabotage themselves so they can prove what lowly sinners they are while secretly blaming their unhappiness on others.

Sounds complicated, doesn’t it? It is because it’s a trap of the mind.

Praying to some entity for “forgiveness” doesn’t absolve you. It just doesn’t. That doesn’t mean you can’t be forgiven but it does mean you have to do the work to forgive yourself and truly make amends. This can’t happen if we blame our flaws or “sins” on satan.

It can only happen when we take full responsibility for both the hard parts of our lives and the most wonderful parts. There is no place that is not God/dess. There is nothing that is not a sacred part of life. It’s only the human ego that makes us believe otherwise. I am happy to remind myself that, indeed, we all DO have a Higher Self (even my ex-husband. heh) that can guide and direct us. This means each of us can tap into that Higher awareness and live from a place of conscious creation and deliberate intention in alignment with the vibrations of Love and Truth.

I’m happy to just do the work on my own soul and let others do the same. I am happy to serve the Greater Good by living a life of joy and fulfillment, fully appreciating the gift of life and caring for myself and others. I’m happy to be the change, enjoy my life try not to proselytize to everyone about how they should live and just do my part to weave a new, more loving version of reality starting within.

I do not believe our souls need to be saved. Our souls need to be found and the only way to do that is to live our most authentic lives with 100% honesty and integrity and to take FULL responsibility for every aspect of our lives.

It’s a fuck of a lot harder to own our power than to give it away for someone else to manage but it’s worthwhile.

One more thing: How about instead of trying to earn brownie points to get us into “heaven”, we create, explore and appreciate heaven NOW, in every moment? What would THAT look like? What if this is it? Does that change anything? It sure does for me. Every moment becomes more precious and every breath more Divine.

(Note: I’m not saying I have all the answers. I’m just living the questions and poking around. I’m curious about your own views on the matter.)

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