“A true relationship is a celebration of intimacy. Intimacy acknowledges the capacity you have to embrace another to the degree you’re willing to embrace yourself. The heart of intimacy never suggests: “I’m here to help you approve of me.” Instead, the heart of intimacy says, “I choose to love you no matter how you view the world or ever define yourself.” If this depth of intimacy seems vacant from any of your relationships, it reminds you how a relationship with another cannot be a substitute for the love, kindness, compassion, and acceptance only you may deeply offer yourself. If it seems like any relationship has run its course, honor the time you’ve spent with any partner and thank them for leading you to the only soul mate in existence – your own heartfelt innocence.” ~Matt Kahn
I have been learning about being emotionally intimate with myself of late. I have been mindfully not dating or seeking out male company other than friendship. It’s been so good for me to just watch myself and notice what feels good, what I like and to listen to my heart.
I’ve learned I like men who are contained [read: not clingy and emotionally dependent], self-aware, respectful, funny and brilliant.
More than anything, I’ve been treating myself the way I want to be treated and just letting other people have their feelings and needs without feeling any need to fix or mend them up. I’ve been learning about just saying, “I hear you,” in response to feelings instead of, “How can I help?”
As I learn to attend to my own heart and needs, I feel more vulnerable and willing to express the softness inside of me. I trust myself and others more. I trust life.
Matt told me recently that I will know when I have met the one for me. In the meantime, I’m being the One for myself.
It feels good.