it’s not about being different, it’s about being
Last week, I wrote about the chaos of the Discomfort Monster. This week, it’s a different monster all together: The Gnarly Judgement Monster. We all have those people in our lives that are like Voldemort in Harry Potter: He Who Shall Not Be Named. They are the people that have criticized us or treated us like we were less than because we. just. weren’t. like. them. They don’t understand us and they don’t try.
When I was in my twenties and trying to discover myself, my personal Voldemort said, “Why do you always have to be so different?” This is someone I admired (at the time) and looked up to. It made me very sad and, for a while, made me doubt myself. Here’s something I figured out though:
If we were all the same, that would be a tragic reality indeed. We came here to be our own spark of Divinity. Period.
We came here to create and love and play. The tormenting ourselves and one another is just a bonus feature that helps us learn about choosing and loving.
I don’t hang out with that Voldemort anymore but I see others like him and, frankly, I see him in myself sometimes. I am learning, bit by bit, to love that harsh, judgmental and terribly afraid part of myself. Learning to see it with new eyes.
I absolutely move away from people who are treating me poorly but I also seek to understand the behavior in my heart so it can be a teacher. I know that when someone is criticizing me, it’s usually low self-worth or fear talking. This helps me to empathize and sometimes (when I remember), I’m able to address the core issue either with them or at least find a resolution in my heart. Once I’ve done that, I can move forward and be that spark of Divinity I know myself to be and I can let them be that as well.
Humanity (and life, really), is such a beautiful spectrum of colors and textures. I like it that way. I know that sometimes the people and governments that want to colonize and make us homogeneous are doing it because they want to hold rather than share power. In my experience, the core of this position is not just about power but of allowing our vulnerability. True power though comes from vulnerability, not control.
I know I can’t change the world but I do work on changing my own corner of it. My little intention for the week ahead is to notice when someone is doing something that makes me uncomfortable and just let myself be with it without saying anything or reacting at all. Instead, I’ll write about it in my journal or otherwise create something (note to self: a Facebook status update doesn’t count, kdl). I suspect I’ll learn a great deal. I don’t like the way I feel when I’m feeling critical so I’m going to shoot for a different feeling–more open, generous and trusting. (I might be doing all of this while hiding under a blanket, for the record.)