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reclaiming | facing | healing

me today

I could have written the following song: It makes me cry to read it. I’m going to my first ACA meeting tonight. Reading this is how I discovered how much I need to. I think I feel more courageous and more scared than I ever have in my life today. I also feel very held in Love.

by Janet Jackson

Here I am in your face
Tellin’ truths and not your old lies
Seems to me that you care
And I know that you’re runnin’ out of time
See ya can’t get away
I’ll be here forever and again
Whisperin’ in your ear
Do believe ’cause you know you cannot win

Spent most your life pretending not to be
The one you are but who you choose to be
Learned to survive in your fictitious world
Does what they think of you determine your worth
If special’s what you feel when you’re with them
Taken away, you feel less then again

That’s right

You gotta mean what you say
You gotta say what you mean
Tryin’ to please everyone
Sacrifice your own needs
Check in the mirror my friend
No lies will be told then
Pointin’ the finger again
You can’t blame nobody but you

There’s a feelin’ inside
No you cannot change it right away
Gotta make it try
And with time it’ll start to go away
I’ll be here when you need
That one to sit and cry to
‘Cause I’m the you you forgot
The only one you know you cannot lie to

Bitter you’ll be if you don’t change you ways
When you hate you, you hate everyone that day
Unleash this scared child that you’ve grown into
You cannot run for you can’t hide from you
Can’t hide from you

That’s right

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